Cole, Estelle

I don't think I like Halloween anymore.

Who eggs a woman pushing a baby carriage? They're lucky I was on my own. I cannot imagine what would have happened to them if Matt had been able to walk with us.  Jack, however, thought it was hysterical. Twisted little thing. At least that means he won't be forever warped by this odd little town.

Or it means he was born that way. Neither of those scenarios are good, I think.

Well, I should get him out of his teddy bear costume and get him into a bath and to bed. Good night everyone.

I miss Jack. I love Matt with everything that I have but having Jack around in such a weird little town always made me feel a lot more comfortable....safer. At least the fairies have quieted down. I wonder if he did that for me. Probably, he was always doing things like that  I don't know where he and Ianto went but I hope that they are ok wherever they've gone.

I'm tired a lot lately. It's so strange. I sleep and sleep and sleep and I can never seem to get enough rest to make it go away. I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if being so far out of my time is what's making me this way. Like the world is going to fast for me.

Maybe I"m just crazy. That's always a possibility. With me, it's nearly a certainty.

8:00 am Why am I up this early?
8:10 am Now I remember. Wedding order.
8:12 am  Who gets married on a tuesday?
8:15 am next time i'm gonna hire someone to do early morning deliveries.

10:11 am I still don't get twitter.
10:15 am why not just tell people about your day later.
10:20 am  it is strangely addicting though

11:30 am class time.
11:45 am class canceled.
12:00 pm i want to go eat. who wants to do lunch?

I just don't have time for anything anymore. The blast fairies are constantly whispering in my ears, asking for me to bring back Jack, telling me they'll be good. They killed my best purple roses and my head just...hurts. I don't know, I'm thinking of quitting school. At least for now. I need to focus on my son and getting my greenhouse back off the ground and fairy free.

[Private]
I don't want to think about being dead. I don't want to think about it and I don't want to talk about it and I don't think anyone understands that. It was...so cold and dark and quiet. I don't think I ever EVER want to be anywhere that quiet again. I want loud and I want bright and full of people. That's what I want.
[.private]

[Private to Ned]
Thank you. I know your gift isn't exactly something you enjoy and you may not have brought me back on purpose but thank you. You don't know how much it means to me. I hope you enjoy the flowers.
[.private]

I'm going to go put Jack down and then take a nap.

I hate this town sometimes. Ianto and I were taking a perfectly nice walk and now I can't get that image out of my head.  That poor woman.

I hope that 2010 is going to be less eventful as last year. No more fairies in my greenhouse. No more huge mass casualty causing events.  My new years hope is that we all start complaining about how boring it is in Aiode Falls.

Anyway! I'm reopening the greenhouse to customers. Screw the fairies. That is my greenhouse and I am taking it back. Don't worry, Matt. We're setting up much more intricate security systems and the baby will not be coming to the Greenhouse. I won't let anyone or anything harm our little boy.

And before you say anything, Jack, my decision is final. I'm not scared of them anymore.